Are You the Wife? Narrating a Week of Loss

This article was originally published in “Intima: A Journal of Narrative Medicine”
Fall 2020

An excerpt is included below. To read the full article, click on the link below the except or on the photo.

Day Zero

The officer says Is this the wife? Then Have a seat in my cruiser. A man lying on the ground near a silver Corolla. There are sensors and straps on the body on the ground. Someone is pushing up and down and up and down on the body on the ground, CPR. I think Is my CPR up to date? I say to the officer I’m strong, I won’t collapse, tell me what is happening. My face betrays me, crumples, tears splash on my chin. I do not know the details, the story of this gruesome cinematic disaster scene are not knowable yet, but I know enough to know he is gone, I can feel he is gone. There was an accident. I see three fire trucks and police cars. I do not count the police cars. I see my son. He has called me, said Mom, there’s been an accident. Dad’s unconscious.

Someone else approaches me. Are you the wife, she asks. Yes, I am the wife, ask Tell me what has happened. She begins The impact shattered both his legs. He had a weak pulse at first but now, we cannot get it back. We think he had an aneurism. I understand. He died instantly when the oncoming car tboned him on the side where he sat, guiding our 16 year old with a learner’s permit, told him when the truck passes, it is safe to take the left turn. The EMT comes, asks Is this the wife? Yes, I am the wife. We will transport him now. Meet us at the emergency room. I will explain to people later, he died in an instant.